well last week i officially registered for my first 5k race - the turkey trot on thanksgiving morning. i was so stoked about it because i really felt that this was exactly what i needed to do. i say "felt" because in the past couple of days my "feelings" have changed. i have been feeling discouraged & overwhelmed. i feel that my body, the weather, my schedule, & just circumstances have interfered & my running frequency & speeds have suffered. so i find myself doubting...asking myself "what were you thinking, signing up for an actual race?"
then today i get up & get all ready to run only to look out the window & see the rain. now, i'm not against getting a little wet - but my running partner (my iphone) can not be out in this weather. this however is the means by which i can listen to music & track my distance, speed, & time. chris (my husband & problem solver) encourages me to take an old ipod, strap it under my sweatshirt & just go run. my excuse for this was "well then, who is going to tell me that i did good or bad or whatever?" and he said "you did good. now go run."
so out into the rain i went...still frustrated. as i ran, i began to think through my doubts & feelings about this race. as i played back the whole registration process & tried to remember what made me do it, i realized that running this race is a "desire of my heart" that GOD has given me. it is now up to me to let go of these doubts & fears & live this dream out.
it is a real probability that i will not win. it is possible that i may be one of the slowest. but it is reality that i am going to show up & run. i'm going to remember that "i can do all things through CHRIST who gives me strength." (phil. 4.13) because if GOD said it, it's the truth - no matter how i feel.
