i went to support jonah & the wildcat marching band at the division I state championship a couple weeks ago and have been trying to process this thought ever since. "what makes the rocket band of blue stay in their uniforms all day?" and "why does the announcement of the band finalists affect bands so differently - whether they make it or not?" i think that it all comes down to EXPECTATIONS. (now, if you're not following my band analogy, hang with me. i'll include some real life in just a bit.) so the rocket band of blue EXPECTS to be in the finals, so they don't even change out of their uniforms. they have put in the work and they know that based on their skill level and their history, they will be performing again. they EXPECT to be called for the finals, so there is almost no emotion by their band...the announcement of their name is merely a confirmation of what they already knew would happen. likewise, the band who does not EXPECT to make the finals, and does not...very little emotion. they knew they wouldn't be performing again and thus the confirmation of that is not a surprise. on the other hand, you may have a band who EXPECTED to make the finals and did not. this band is full of emotions - sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration...(i have been there...2003 WMB.) or a band that did not EXPECT to make the finals but did...this band is also full of emotions on the other end of the spectrum. i say all of this to explain, our EXPECTATIONS affect how the reality affects us. EXPECTATIONS make the difference.
if i EXPECT that a specific friend or family member will do this or that for me and they don't, i am disappointed, upset, etc. and if i EXPECT someone to fail me and they actually come through, i am thrilled, excited, etc. both of these "missed" EXPECTATIONS - whether bad or good outcome - produce an emotional response. however, if a specific friend or family member has a history of letting me down, i EXPECT that and thus am not really emotionally affected when that becomes reality. likewise, when i EXPECT good and get good, there is minimal emotion. so why have any EXPECTATIONS then? if getting what you EXPECT produces little to no emotion and missed EXPECTATIONS bring extreme emotions, why EXPECT anything? why not just go about life letting whatever may happen, happen.
because EXPECTATIONS make the difference.
every time you EXPECT, you take a risk. you put faith in something out of your control - another person, an event, GOD, etc. yes, maybe you would limit your disappointments by getting rid of your EXPECTATIONS, but you will also miss out on times of extreme joy.
going back to band for a moment...in 2009, i took the WMB to my last marching band competition at the division I state championship. we had made the finals the past 2 years in a row and we EXPECTED to make the finals - and we did. we were happy, but fairly calm and just ready to do the next step - compete in the finals for the state title. when all was said and done, we came in 10th in the state. i was disappointed, upset, angry, frustrated...and it wasn't until just recently that i realized exactly why...i EXPECTED more. i know that there were students and parents at that time that thought i should have been thrilled and that my disappointment was uncalled for. i think back that i may have even apologized for this. if i did, i take it back! i am NOT sorry for having high EXPECTATIONS nor for being upset that they were unmet. if you felt however, that in any way i was upset with you or the band for the placement, then yes, i'm sorry because that is NOT true. i had EXPECTATIONS (specifically that we would place 5th or higher) and 10th didn't meet this. i had raised the bar, so to speak. making finals was not really my EXPECTATION. my EXPECTATION exceeded that...i EXPECTED a placement of 5th or better - and anything less was disappointing. do i regret this? not at all! without this EXPECTATION we may not have worked as hard or risked as much. without this EXPECTATION the experience would have been less full.
in life, i'm learning that i need to continue to set EXPECTATIONS...even high ones. i don't want to course through life haphazardly. i want more and i know that GOD has more for me. even though friends, family, circumstances, etc. may not meet my EXPECTATIONS, without them, i am not risking...i am not living. i do not just want to exist. i want to live life to the fullest and EXPECTATIONS make the difference.
