Well, today is my mom's birthday. If it's possible, I think I miss her even more now - almost 12 years later. But I've started to realize that although I've always loved and usually appreciated both of my parents for the amazing people they were, I feel like since my mom passed away, I give her much more gratitude than I do my dad - who is still very much here with me. So as much as I miss mom today and am SO thankful for the woman that she was, I want to give some props to my pops.
I have always known and somewhat appreciated the fact that I had good parents. They loved GOD, each other, and us girls well. Recently I began a Bible study journey with a group of eclectic women at my church - there are some single ladies, some married, some divorced, some younger than I and some old enough to be my grandmother. But through this study so far, as we have discussed and shared our lives with each other, I am coming to find that a great father is a rare gem - something that most of these women do not have. My dad is a pastor - which doesn't make him better than others...it doesn't even make him good. However, my dad was good. He wasn't perfect, I guess, but he was good. I never for once questioned if he loved GOD or me. I still don't. I know these to be truth.
It was a regular occurrence to find my dad sitting around the house (couch, dining table, bedroom, study...) reading the WORD. He studied it - not just for knowledge sake - but to better know the ONE who wrote it. He lived what he said he believed. He gives all he has for others, sacrificing at times his time with his family. He takes care of the widows and the orphans. He ministers to those on the streets and in the ghettos of Miami. He spends almost half a year, every year, dealing with poverty and oppression to minister and love on the people of Honduras. There were moments in my past that I probably didn't like the fact that he put us 2nd, but I see the big picture now. He has his priority straight...just one priority - the things of GOD. He always has an eternal perspective. And as annoying as it was to hear when I was a teenager, my dad always insisted in the midst of my problems: "In light of eternity, this is nothing."
And speaking of being a teenager - I know that my dad loved me well during that wretched time of my life. I mean overall I had a great life, but middle school and high school always have their challenges. In the midst of my adolescent feelings of awkwardness and self consciousness, my dad shows up for my first high school football game in bright green pants and suspenders! I thought I actually might die! However, after being a band director for 15 years, I realize how many students go through their high school career, doing what they're most passionate about without ANY parental support. My dad loved me and supported what I did - even if his fashion was lacking. Then there were the boys. Not too many, but a couple. One boy came to my house wearing a "Surf Naked" tank top! (It was the 80's, ok?) I was SO embarrassed! I was embarrassed because I did like this guy and I knew that the moment my dad saw him in that shirt, he would not approve. My dad is not a big, beastly, physically intimidating kind of dad. He actually didn't really say anything to this "gentleman" other than common niceties, but I knew he didn't approve. And he shouldn't have. That guy was not the best for me! Every time I talked about any guy that I might be interested in, the first question that my dad asked me was "Does he love JESUS?" and I was always like "Dad?!?!?!", wanting him to just let me "be in love". But when I did find my one, I was so excited to be able to answer my daddy's question with "YES!". I always knew he loved me. He is a good dad!
So dad, thank you for showing me what my FATHER is like. I am learning every day how very fortunate I was. I remember that mom used to sing Amy Grant's, "My Father's Eyes". It always made me tear up & it wasn't until after several listenings of it that I really realized it wasn't talking about you. I LOVE this song and it is my prayer because both my Heavenly FATHER and my earthly father have the same eyes. Thank you!
I love you Poppy with all my heart!
I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl,
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world.
But that's all right, as long as I can have one wish I pray:
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say,
She's got her Father's eyes,
Eyes that find the good in things,
When good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help,
When help just can't be found;
Eyes full of compassion,
Seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same.
Just like my Father's eyes,
My Father's eyes
