2014 Winter Olympics with Chris - Week Two

Here is week two...not quite as many comments as week one, but I think it was because I watched a lot of Figure Skating by myself.  However, there are some gems here.  I hope you enjoy this, and mark your calendar for the Summer post in 2016.  

1.  Watching Men's Figure Skating that was recorded at the end of week one.  I say, "If America can't win, I want him to win." He asks, "Is this Japan?"  I say, "No.  This is Canada.  Japan fell on his butt."  He says, "Thumbs up to falling on the butt."  I respond, "You can't say funny stuff on this...this is from week one."  To which he responds, "Well, I'm sure someone will fall on their butt in week two."
2.  While watching Jason Brown (a male skater), "I LIKE her!"
3. Men's Skeleton announcer says, "Oh, he's slower than yesterday."  Immediately he says, "Your mom's slower than yesterday."
4.  "I like all these Skeleton guys cuz they look like Daft Punk going down the ice."
5.  Chris hadn't seen the Russian Police sing "Get Lucky" yet, so I pull it up on YouTube.  As we're watching, I tell him how, on their interview on The Today Show, they said that they've performed almost everywhere around the world except for the USA.  He said, "What?  Why?"  "Because they haven't been invited," I say.  "Well, someone needs to do that.  WE love this stuff!"
6.  Sunday, beginning of week two, Matt Lauer is hosting..."Where's Bob's eyes?!"
7.  Australian Torah Bright is announced in Snowboard Cross.  "Oh no!  Not Torah Bright!  I want to punch her in her big teeth...but I kinda like her."
8.  Referring to Arials, "They're all so rigid.  Seems like you could just build a robot to do this."
9.  Latvia is doing really well in Bobsledding.  "Well, what else does Latvia have but to slide down an ice tube in a hot dog mobile?"
10.  Watching our USA guy in Snowboard Cross, "I'd prefer that he just get in 1st and then just stay in 1st for the whole run...that's what I'd prefer."
11.  Announcer says, "This is De Le Rue from France.  It's amazing that he's here because just a month ago he was in a medically induced coma after a crash."  Chris, without hesitation, "I was in a medically induced coma after all the Ice Dancing."
12.  Referring to the Half Pipe events, "I'ts kinda like a test.  If you complete it all well, you can get a 95. But if you miss and fall on the first trick, you can get like a 5."
13.  Behind the scenes interview with Slalom Skier Mikaela Shiffrin:  Chris says, "So they're diagramming, on paper, how to do slalom...so basically they're just drawing 'S's'?"  
14.  "What?!  An encore Figure Skating performance?! Why don't we get to see an encore Speed Skating performance?  Just a guy going around as fast as he can, just for fun!"  
15.  "I don't mind Japan."
16.  In a Speed Skating event, Poland is behind The Netherlands by a time of 6.66..."666!  Oh, they're definitely going to lose."
17.  "They should have Snow Running.  You could have Downhill or just flat, like Cross Country.  Just picture a guy running downhill?  Wouldn't that be entertaining?"
18.  Announcer says, "That was a very solid run for Ligety."  Chris says, "He's 5th!!!!  Be solid-er, Ligety!" 
19.  Watching some 4 Man Bobsledding, "Hey, if you know you're gonna be in a skin tight bodysuit, lay off the spaghetti!"
20.  Slalom Skier Mario Matt is introduced..."Oh yeah, Mario Matt.  That was the guy 2 doors down who was really good at Super Mario Brothers."

2014 Winter Olympics with Chris - Week One

We LOVE the Olympics!  So in 2012, as we were watching the Summer Games, Chris' comments during each viewing were so hilarious that I started taking notes.  I posted them and our friends and family seemed to enjoy them.  So...without further ado I give you "2014 Winter Olympics with Chris - Week One."

1.  Out of the blue, in early November, "I hope we have a good ski jumper."
2.  Snowboarder Mark McMorris is being interviewed..."He sounds like the snowboarder version of Ryan Lochte."
3.  "Slopestyle:  the gangsta rap of the Winter Olympics."
4.  Watching some Slopestyle Snowboarding, "Wow!  That was really whippy-spinny!"
5.  Referring to the American Ice Dancers, "He looks like Dave Coulier from the 80's doing a Saturday Night Live skit about the Olympics."
6.  Commenting on the USA Snowboard Uniforms, "Ours is like an 'off-brown'."
7.  "Russki Gorki Jumping Center:  sounds like somewhere you take your exotic dogs for exercise."
8.  Watching Ski Jumping, "I didn't realize the jumpers went down on a track...gone are the days of holding your owns skis straight, I guess."
9.  Watching Figure Skating, "A lot of these girls have wedgies."  I respond, "Our girls don't have as many."  He says, "That's because WE know the secret to wedgies.  I don't know the secret to wedgies, but WE do. (long pause)  I wish I knew the secret to wedgies."
10.  "I can't even pronounce anyone's name in the top ten"...after reading #1 on this list and realizing that we didn't even qualify for the Final.
11.  Gracie Gold had a snap come undone on her collar during the team event skate.  When the announcer comments on it, I say, "See, I noticed it."  Chris responds, "Yeah, you're a great noticer."
12.  "Men's Downhill is a snowy death waiting to happen."
13.  I'm looking at the results for the Men's Downhill and we have athletes in 5th, 8th, 27th, and 30th place.  I say, "We didn't even get to see Marco Sullivan (our 30th place guy)."  Without hesitation, he responds, "That's cuz he sucked."
14.  While watching Slopestyle Snowboarding, Chris says, "She's gonna crash." Said lady crashes.  I say, "How did you know she would crash?"  "She just looked kinda crashy."
16.  Looking at the flags projected on the ice in Speed Skating, "It's between Canada and 3 stripes...lots of countries are 3 stripes."
17.  Watching Freestyle Skiing, I say, "Wow!  That would have been and awesome run if he hadn't landed on his butt." He says, "Oh, is that frowned upon?"
18.  On Day Three, I say, "Bob Costas' eye is not getting better."  Chris says, "Yeah, it looks like it's spread to the other eye.  Why can't we get this fixed?  Come on Science!"
19.  An American Figure Skating Pair is skating.  She is wearing a pepto pink leotard and he's wearing a maroon shirt and brown vest.  I say, "I don't know who picked out these costumes."  Chris says, "They picked out their own and surprised each other."
20.  Watching the finish of the Women's Biathlon, Chris says, "Oh no Soukalova!  4th?!?"  I say, "What?  You care about her?"  "No.  But she got 4th.  You NEVER want to get 4th!"
21.  "One word for the Double Luge - AWKWARD!  I wouldn't want to do that for two seconds, much less have it be the thing that I spend my life training for."
22.  Looking at the results for the Luge Finals and there is only 1 second separating 1st place from 11th place.  Chris says, "I think we've taken the sport of Luging as far as we can take it."
23.  "When all is said and done and you get to the bottom, and you've lost, it's then that you realize you're just two dudes sitting in each other's laps."
24. Japanese ice skater is warming up for his short program..."He's about to dance fight."
25. "Soon they're gonna be required to do a quint jump...mark my words!"
26.  Referring to the Spanish skater "He looks like a circus midget."
27. On Figure Skating, "I think they should rename them, 'long program' and 'longer program'".

Stay tuned for week two...