We LOVE the Olympics! So in 2012, as we were watching the Summer Games, Chris' comments during each viewing were so hilarious that I started taking notes. I posted them and our friends and family seemed to enjoy them. So...without further ado I give you "2014 Winter Olympics with Chris - Week One."
1. Out of the blue, in early November, "I hope we have a good ski jumper."
2. Snowboarder Mark McMorris is being interviewed..."He sounds like the snowboarder version of Ryan Lochte."
3. "Slopestyle: the gangsta rap of the Winter Olympics."
4. Watching some Slopestyle Snowboarding, "Wow! That was really whippy-spinny!"
5. Referring to the American Ice Dancers, "He looks like Dave Coulier from the 80's doing a Saturday Night Live skit about the Olympics."
6. Commenting on the USA Snowboard Uniforms, "Ours is like an 'off-brown'."
7. "Russki Gorki Jumping Center: sounds like somewhere you take your exotic dogs for exercise."
8. Watching Ski Jumping, "I didn't realize the jumpers went down on a track...gone are the days of holding your owns skis straight, I guess."
9. Watching Figure Skating, "A lot of these girls have wedgies." I respond, "Our girls don't have as many." He says, "That's because WE know the secret to wedgies. I don't know the secret to wedgies, but WE do. (long pause) I wish I knew the secret to wedgies."
10. "I can't even pronounce anyone's name in the top ten"...after reading #1 on this list and realizing that we didn't even qualify for the Final.
11. Gracie Gold had a snap come undone on her collar during the team event skate. When the announcer comments on it, I say, "See, I noticed it." Chris responds, "Yeah, you're a great noticer."
12. "Men's Downhill is a snowy death waiting to happen."
13. I'm looking at the results for the Men's Downhill and we have athletes in 5th, 8th, 27th, and 30th place. I say, "We didn't even get to see Marco Sullivan (our 30th place guy)." Without hesitation, he responds, "That's cuz he sucked."
14. While watching Slopestyle Snowboarding, Chris says, "She's gonna crash." Said lady crashes. I say, "How did you know she would crash?" "She just looked kinda crashy."
16. Looking at the flags projected on the ice in Speed Skating, "It's between Canada and 3 stripes...lots of countries are 3 stripes."
17. Watching Freestyle Skiing, I say, "Wow! That would have been and awesome run if he hadn't landed on his butt." He says, "Oh, is that frowned upon?"
18. On Day Three, I say, "Bob Costas' eye is not getting better." Chris says, "Yeah, it looks like it's spread to the other eye. Why can't we get this fixed? Come on Science!"
19. An American Figure Skating Pair is skating. She is wearing a pepto pink leotard and he's wearing a maroon shirt and brown vest. I say, "I don't know who picked out these costumes." Chris says, "They picked out their own and surprised each other."
20. Watching the finish of the Women's Biathlon, Chris says, "Oh no Soukalova! 4th?!?" I say, "What? You care about her?" "No. But she got 4th. You NEVER want to get 4th!"
21. "One word for the Double Luge - AWKWARD! I wouldn't want to do that for two seconds, much less have it be the thing that I spend my life training for."
22. Looking at the results for the Luge Finals and there is only 1 second separating 1st place from 11th place. Chris says, "I think we've taken the sport of Luging as far as we can take it."
23. "When all is said and done and you get to the bottom, and you've lost, it's then that you realize you're just two dudes sitting in each other's laps."
24. Japanese ice skater is warming up for his short program..."He's about to dance fight."
25. "Soon they're gonna be required to do a quint jump...mark my words!"
26. Referring to the Spanish skater "He looks like a circus midget."
27. On Figure Skating, "I think they should rename them, 'long program' and 'longer program'".
Stay tuned for week two...
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