creation - or nature - as we usually call it, has been an ever present reminder to me this summer of how cool my GOD is. since returning home from our vacation, i have felt the urge to share these creation encounters. so here goes...
as my faithful followers know, i'm kinda like a runner now & such. on various runs at the river house & at camp, i came ridiculously close to some of GOD's creatures that i would not normally get to see. one morning at camp, i almost ran over an armadillo - thinking it was a cat that would get out of the way. but he wasn't a cat & i am the one that changed trajectory. another early morning, as i ran through a particularly wooded area, i was feeling extra fatigued. when i'm feeling like that - like i might not make it - i've found that i have to change my gaze from the "road ahead" to the pavement immediately in front of my feet - one step at a time. so as i'm looking down, i happened to see something peripherally...it was a big ole deer...right there, like mere feet from my sweating, panting self. we eyed each other for a moment & then he (more likely a she) headed off to the tree line.
at the river house, chris & i went on a canoe ride one morning with papa. on this adventure, we saw 2 baby alligators. they were really not too big, but my thinking is that 'where there are babies, there is a mama!' we also came across a good sized turtle that had gotten himself stuck in between some rocks on the shore line. the river has been so low that i guess in his quest to reach the water, his shell got caught on the rock. so we steered over to him & chris used his paddle to pry him loose & put him in the water. (we call him the turtle hero.)
and then, what i think was the coolest finding actually came right to me. we had taken the boat to the boat ramp & then i drove our car back to the house while the boys brought the boat up the river. i went out to the dock to wait for them. the water was still & quiet. i stood there just taking in the peacefulness. and then, in an instant, the moment went from nice & regular to pretty much awe-inspiring & super cool. a manatee was right there in front of our dock. manatees have been more prevalent in the suwannee lately, but i had never seen one up close...until now. he was huge too - prob a good 10 or more feet. he just swam around there for about a minute or so & then went on his way. i tried to get some pictures, but they do not do his magnificence justice. later that week, another manatee (smaller - 6 feet or so) came up by our dock & our whole family got to see him.
as chris & i talked about our trip, we were reminded of just how awesome & powerful GOD's creation is. things like: the rise & fall of the river's water level & the creatures & plants & land that this affects, the rain that brings life or destruction, the crazy amount of growth our yard can have after 3 non-mowed weeks... i think that man is under the impression that he has nature under his control. creation is controlled by GOD & GOD alone. man may have figured out some ways to harness it from time to time, but it's really all about doing whatever the CREATOR says. ultimately, creation longs for the return of its SAVIOR (romans 8:19-22). what an awesome example creation is for me.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
from the other side
so a little over a year ago i gave up something that had been a MAJOR part of my life for 15 years. i was the band director at a private school here in nashville for all of that time & for lack of a better phrase, it was my life. (this is possibly the reason that GOD called me out of it...but not where i was going with this post today.) last year was a huge year of growth for me & my family. we did so many things differently & although there were some trials, it was a fantastic year. i did not miss my old life. i didn't miss being a band director. i don't think that people always believed me when i would tell them that, but it was (& still is) the truth. i do miss the people & relationships that i had at the school - the faculty, staff, students, & parents. i have maintained some friendships, but many have distanced themselves & seem to feel weird about being with or talking with me now that i'm not at the school.
enter the epitome of awkwardness...through a series of interesting events, this private school is allowing home school students to participate in their athletic & co-curricular activities. so my eldest, who is 100% in to all things music, enrolled in their marching band. the marching band that i started. the marching band that i directed for 15 years. the marching band that made the state championship finals with me 4 times. the marching band that i am no longer affiliated with. the marching band that i willingly gave up. my son is now a full fledged member of said marching band.
i am honestly at a loss for words at this thought...
...well, the marching season has just begun and as i find myself in the shoes of a band parent, overall, i love it! i get all the joy of watching & listening to the students improve & perform with none of the responsibility or stress. however, in my own insecurities, i feel like i'm in the spotlight every time i show up for a band meeting or function. and not the cool "i'm on stage" spotlight...i'm talking about the one that the old movies used to use on someone who was being interrogated for a crime? that kind of "in your face, what have you done" spotlight. maybe no one else is thinking this or feeling that my presence is out of place, but it is where i find myself right now...cheering on my son & his marching band from the other side of the fence.
enter the epitome of awkwardness...through a series of interesting events, this private school is allowing home school students to participate in their athletic & co-curricular activities. so my eldest, who is 100% in to all things music, enrolled in their marching band. the marching band that i started. the marching band that i directed for 15 years. the marching band that made the state championship finals with me 4 times. the marching band that i am no longer affiliated with. the marching band that i willingly gave up. my son is now a full fledged member of said marching band.
i am honestly at a loss for words at this thought...
...well, the marching season has just begun and as i find myself in the shoes of a band parent, overall, i love it! i get all the joy of watching & listening to the students improve & perform with none of the responsibility or stress. however, in my own insecurities, i feel like i'm in the spotlight every time i show up for a band meeting or function. and not the cool "i'm on stage" spotlight...i'm talking about the one that the old movies used to use on someone who was being interrogated for a crime? that kind of "in your face, what have you done" spotlight. maybe no one else is thinking this or feeling that my presence is out of place, but it is where i find myself right now...cheering on my son & his marching band from the other side of the fence.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
thoughts & camp
about 3 weeks ago chris & i were on the site of camp suwannee. chris leads the worship team & does all things "music-y" there. he has been working in this capacity for the past 20 years & i have been accompanying him there, off & on, for the past 10 - 12. we spend 2 weeks there & i can honestly say that i look forward to & treasure the time that we spend at camp suwannee...but this was not always the case.
because chris had various & many responsibilities throughout the day & especially the night, i spent much of my time, mostly the years when my boys were babies, hauled up in our room with a screaming, non-sleeping boy. i spent many nights crying, feeling alone, sleep deprived & pretty much pitiful.
for the past several years though, i've been blessed to be able send my boys to grandma's house for 1 of the weeks. because of this, i've been able to get more involved & teach classes & such. being a teacher at heart, i was thrilled to be asked to teach again this year...but i just wasn't so sure what to teach on. as i prayed about it, GOD began unfolding a biblical concept that i had never really spent much time even thinking about. GOD tells us that we are to "be transformed by the renewing of our mind" (rom. 12.2), but honestly, i didn't really know what that looked like. well, through much study, prayer, reading, etc. i am learning that it means to "think differently"...to "think new thoughts about old issues". so as i prepared to teach, GOD began to show me so many places that he was giving me new thoughts & new emotions in place of the toxic ones i had held on to for so long. one of these places was camp...
for the past several years, i believe that GOD has been renewing my thoughts about camp. without realizing it, i used to carry around negative thoughts & emotions from those lonely, tear filled nights at camp & therefore my brain would cause me to feel wretched every time i thought about or entered the camp grounds. but no more, my friend. i am free! GOD is showing me all the time new ways to think about this old stuff.
so in the midst of this revelation & transformation this year, i'm walking one night ever so 'happy-go-lucky' from the evening service up to the game time when i come across my sweet friend danielle. she is pushing a screaming stroller while balancing a laundry basket under her arm. i approach & relieve her of that load & walk with her to her room. in that short 3 minutes, i realize that i was looking at my past in her worn out, tired eyes. but now i had the opportunity to help - to maybe make it possible for her to leave camp this year with new thoughts & emotions. i walked her laundry inside & took the screamer from the stroller, i told danielle to get herself in bed, & i bounced me a sweet baby boy to sleep. it took all of 30 minutes for him to be out - only about 2 for danielle. but in that time, GOD gave me a sense of happiness & joy that i can not really even express. an onlooker would assume that what i was doing there was for danielle, but as i tip-toed out of her room, i thanked GOD for this blessing - for reminding me that HE does not free us from something just to sit around in our freedom, but to share it with others. i know that danielle was grateful for getting some much needed sleep that night, but i was so honored that GOD would use me in this way.
because chris had various & many responsibilities throughout the day & especially the night, i spent much of my time, mostly the years when my boys were babies, hauled up in our room with a screaming, non-sleeping boy. i spent many nights crying, feeling alone, sleep deprived & pretty much pitiful.
for the past several years though, i've been blessed to be able send my boys to grandma's house for 1 of the weeks. because of this, i've been able to get more involved & teach classes & such. being a teacher at heart, i was thrilled to be asked to teach again this year...but i just wasn't so sure what to teach on. as i prayed about it, GOD began unfolding a biblical concept that i had never really spent much time even thinking about. GOD tells us that we are to "be transformed by the renewing of our mind" (rom. 12.2), but honestly, i didn't really know what that looked like. well, through much study, prayer, reading, etc. i am learning that it means to "think differently"...to "think new thoughts about old issues". so as i prepared to teach, GOD began to show me so many places that he was giving me new thoughts & new emotions in place of the toxic ones i had held on to for so long. one of these places was camp...
for the past several years, i believe that GOD has been renewing my thoughts about camp. without realizing it, i used to carry around negative thoughts & emotions from those lonely, tear filled nights at camp & therefore my brain would cause me to feel wretched every time i thought about or entered the camp grounds. but no more, my friend. i am free! GOD is showing me all the time new ways to think about this old stuff.
so in the midst of this revelation & transformation this year, i'm walking one night ever so 'happy-go-lucky' from the evening service up to the game time when i come across my sweet friend danielle. she is pushing a screaming stroller while balancing a laundry basket under her arm. i approach & relieve her of that load & walk with her to her room. in that short 3 minutes, i realize that i was looking at my past in her worn out, tired eyes. but now i had the opportunity to help - to maybe make it possible for her to leave camp this year with new thoughts & emotions. i walked her laundry inside & took the screamer from the stroller, i told danielle to get herself in bed, & i bounced me a sweet baby boy to sleep. it took all of 30 minutes for him to be out - only about 2 for danielle. but in that time, GOD gave me a sense of happiness & joy that i can not really even express. an onlooker would assume that what i was doing there was for danielle, but as i tip-toed out of her room, i thanked GOD for this blessing - for reminding me that HE does not free us from something just to sit around in our freedom, but to share it with others. i know that danielle was grateful for getting some much needed sleep that night, but i was so honored that GOD would use me in this way.
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